Nine Words That Can Change Your Life

The plot was planned carefully and carried out perfectly.

It involved deceit, lies, theft, and betrayal and sprang from a narcissistic, prideful, cold, insensitive heart.

The results were injury, devastation, anger, and bitterness. Some of the wounded died, carrying their broken heart to the grave with them.

Unexpectedly, though, the alluring prize the dark-hearted man coveted turned to wormwood, the sweet taste of victory becoming a mouthful of ashes.

Family members turned against each other with threats of murder. A vendetta cast its ugly, dark shadow over them all.

Even the most skilled of tuners wouldn’t have been able to bring harmony to the discordant family.

Decades passed. The situation appeared hopeless. Until—

Until a miracle happened, and peace and harmony returned.

How in the world?

Where did the miracle come from?

Only by the hand of God. Only He could provide paths for people to travel that would result in self-revelation. Only He could hold a mirror to the faces of the parties so that they could see themselves in His light. Only His light could shine into the far recesses of their souls for them to see their mistakes.

The first step was the deceiver being given a taste of his own medicine. He ended up being betrayed and lied to and experienced the pain he had inflicted years before. Fitful dreams, with hidden meanings, plagued his nights.

Peace escaped him.

Constantly looking over his shoulder, he feared that the next bend in the road could bring him face to face with death itself.

“Is this the story of someone having an extra-marital affair?” you ask.

That’s a good guess because all the elements of an affair and its aftermath are there.

This story, though, is applicable to everyone, not just those who are married. It’s a lesson about getting along with anyone and everyone, a story about two brothers—twins. Jacob and Esau were their names.

Have you ever wondered what to do when things have gone wrong between you and someone you love? When you spoke harshly or acted rashly and caused a rift? How can you repair the damage?

You do it by saying these nine words: “I was wrong. I am sorry. I love you.”

Like an ancient spell this combination of words works miracles. And here’s why:

When you admit you were wrong, you’re coming from a place of humility. Pride is the biggest roadblock to an admission of guilt. But when you start with “I was wrong,” you make clear to the listener you accept responsibility for what you did, no rationalizing, no excuse making, no blaming.

The one you’ve hurt will never open their heart to you until they hear and see humility.

With the words “I am sorry,” you show a genuine concern for how the other person feels and how they were affected by what you did. It demonstrates your empathy for the person you love, and the accompanying, unspoken overtone that can be heard in your heart is, “Please forgive me.”

Until they believe you care how much they’ve been hurt, they’ll turn their back on any efforts at repairing the relationship.

The last three of the nine words, “I love you,” sum up the foundational piece upon which you want to rebuild your relationship. You’re saying, “The most important thing I want you to know and feel is my love for you.”

You see, the wrong you’ve done them has made them believe you don’t love them. They need to know how your heart feels about them.

In the story of Jacob and Esau, Jacob is the offender, Esau the wounded party. After years of separation and a severe rift, Jacob doesn’t literally utter these nine words, but his behaviors are a demonstration of their intent.

When he meets his brother for the first time since wounding him years ago:
• He bows down to the ground seven times as he approaches his him.
• He presents gifts to Esau in order “to find favor in your eyes my lord.”
• Jacob told Esau, “Seeing your face is like seeing the face of God.”
• Then he says, “Just let me find favor in your eyes.”

As a result, the brothers embraced in love and parted in peace.

Marriages and friendships could often be saved if someone would simply utter the nine life-changing words:
• “I was wrong.”
• “I am sorry.”
• “I love you.”

* Taken from The Wit and Wisdom of David Johnson, Volume I1: The Hairy Catfish Caper.