It’s What Made Me Who I Am Today

Many factors influence the makeup of our personality and our station in life: genetics, the disposition we’re born with, culture, the country we live in, early childhood experiences, education, our childhood caregivers and probably even more factors. It’s a complex issue to try and cipher.

 I frequently hear people say, after they’ve talked of some horrendous early childhood trauma they experienced, “But that’s okay, because it’s what made me who I am today.”

The context for their statement is in speaking of how they overcame the difficulties life threw their way.

At one time, I agreed with that philosophy. “Life makes you who you are” made sense to me. But then I began seeing people who experienced the similar traumas but ended up with polar opposite looking lives.

I’ve met people who had abusive and neglectful parents yet they turned out to be some of the most amazing adults you’d ever want to meet.

On the other hand, I’ve met people who had what appeared to be very loving and stable parents yet they turned out to be irresponsible, self-destructive adults.

If “life makes you who you are” is true, if the events in your life made you who you are today, how do you explain that?

Most people haven’t thought through the implications of the statement, “It made me who I am today.”

Now, someone tells me that traumatic experiences made them a better person, I challenge the truth of their statement, and here’s how I present it to them:

“If you believe those traumas you experienced made you a better person, wouldn’t it make sense that we recommend every child experience the same traumas? Shouldn’t we make sure we do everything we can to traumatize children?”

Of course, they quickly recoil at my suggestion. “Absolutely not!” they say.

What makes us who we are is how we respond to life not what life does to us.

We can move forward both because of and in spite of life events, if we choose to.

No matter where you are in your life today, no matter where you have been in your life, you can make fundamental changes that will result in positive results.

If you’ve been using your past as an excuse for your lack of progress in life, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Choose today to start evolving into the best possible person you can be.